How Do You Know if Your Boyfriend Is Using You for Money
Welcome to the age of male golden diggers! Oh yes, gone are the days when we only had female gold diggers. Times take changed and the tables accept turned. Male person gilded diggers are everywhere, like predators looking for their adjacent prey. This aureate digger swain could be at your favorite restaurant, a bar, shopping mall and even in your bed. How do you know your boyfriend is not in the relationship just for the money?
Have you ever considered the possibility that your human is using you for convenience? Have you always had doubts near his actions? Many guys merely have a relationship because they are interested in the coin, not in the adult female. Information technology could be any adult female as long as she is bearing the expenses and showering him with gifts. Aye, may sound absurd merely it is the truth.
Investing yourself emotionally in a man who is only interested in your bank balance can exist a scarring experience that can leave you riddled with trust issues for life. To brand certain you steer clear of this pitfall of modern dating, nosotros're here to smooth the low-cal on signs a man is using yous for money, with insights from counseling psychologist Dwiti Vyas (Masters in Applied Psychology), who specializes in relationship challenges, communication issues and EMDR therapy.
Signs Your Man Is Using Y'all For Money
What keeps your relationship going? Does your partner love you, lusts for you, or is he in it for the money? Does your fellow appreciate your qualities or but the thickness of your wallet? If you lot are way more successful than your boyfriend and he is financially dependent on yous, it's imperative to keep an centre out for the characteristics of a gold digger man and assess if y'all can run into them in your partner.
If a human being is using you for convenience, he'd go to not bad lengths to please you as long as information technology yields materialistic gains for him. Here are some indications that your swain is a gold digger:
- Gifts are the fundamental to happiness: You give him the best of gifts and he doesn't shy away from asking for them… well, perhaps a little (it's office of an deed)
- Eye on your bank balance: One of the most telling signs a homo is using you for money is that he keeps a keen involvement on your depository financial institution remainder. Early in the relationship, he'd brainstorm enquiring almost your salary, savings, assets and net worth
- Footing his bills: You lot're somehow often paying for his machine fuel or other things without fifty-fifty realizing it. When a man asks you for money on i pretext or the other, it's a clear indication of why he'due south with you
- Pay up, honey: Yous feel like he puts you in situations in which you have no option but to pay. If he conveniently forgets his wallets or brings expired credit cards to all your dates, you're dealing with clear signs he is a gold digger
- No reciprocation: He rarely e'er pulls off nice gestures for you or buys you nice gifts because he thinks y'all can beget them on your own. Ane of the tell-tale signs someone is using you lot for money is that they're all all about receiving and non giving anything in return
You didn't say that y'all are his sugar mama! Well, a sugar mama is just similar a saccharide daddy. A sugar mama pleases her swain with expensive gifts and he stays with her as long as he avails all her financial benefits and your boyfriend has made you ane! He is dating you for money and you are not even aware of it.
Elaborating on the signs a human being is using you for money, Dwiti says, "He doesn't look at your face or historic period, he sees your depository financial institution business relationship. And when the money stops coming, he starts walking. His actions and behavior scream: finance is the but dear I understand.
Related Reading: 15 Subtle Signs Of A Manipulative Boyfriend
8 Signs You Are Dating A Gold Digger
At that place are many relationships where men aren't as financially secure equally women, merely they withal put in every effort to compensate emotionally by focussing on the little things. They take enough self-respect to make certain that they fill the void with more important aspects such equally love, care and understanding.
"When he uses you for coin, something volition feel amiss about the human relationship. Even if your partner is effectually you, you all the same feel asunder and he is not available when yous need him emotionally. You feel something is incorrect all the time. The moment you lot spend money on him, he feels happy and would express his dearest to you lot," explains Dwiti.
Gilded diggers might give you all of the above, merely it comes with a price and that price is debited from your business relationship. Is your beau in the human relationship just for money? Look out for these signs he is a gold digger to find out:
1. He initially pays for everything and so never does
He was a perfect gentleman on your initial dates. He insisted on paying for dinner and even paid for your cab fare, simply as time passed and he started getting to know more than almost you and your…ahem, depository financial institution residual, the financial burden was slowly passed onto yous.
Remember the times when he left his wallet in the motorcar? How typical! But what do you know almost his financial condition? Was the money he spent on you even his or was he borrowing from Visa to pay for Mastercard? 1 of the unmistakable signs a human being is using you for money is that the burden of keeping the human relationship adrift falls on you lot.
It's like spending time with him comes with a cost tag. At first, you lot may not mind footing the bill considering coin shouldn't go far the way of dear, right? However, slowly but surely, it'll become harder to shake off the piffling sense that you're being exploited by your partner.
"At first, he may try to show off how rich or well-off he is and fifty-fifty talk near the importance of maintaining a high condition in society only would ask you to pay for the bills. At the beginning of the relationship, your boyfriend may spend money on everything and even purchase expensive gifts for you, but later on a few months, he starts asking yous to handle his expenses with the hope to return all the money. The moment you bring upwards settling your finances, he may threaten to finish the human relationship," says Dwiti.
2. He always has financial emergencies
How many uncles and friends of his have you helped in distress? He borrows coin from you and promises to pay it back, but you never see the coin again. I'thou sure that these uncles and friends merely turn upwards when there is a fiscal emergency, otherwise, y'all have never heard of them. Dating a gold digger tin truly deplete yous, financially and emotionally.
"My gold digger boyfriend in one case fifty-fifty went and so far every bit to tell me his friend had gotten into an accident and he needed coin desperately just he hadn't gotten this calendar month's salary yet so he needed me to lend him money. To this day I have never seen or heard of that injured friend always over again," says Maurice, who was being fleeced by her boyfriend of two years.
Your boyfriend seems to be very concerned about these people and is ever set to aid them. How caring! Merely why does that help have to go through your pocket? These scheming ways are amid the fundamental characteristics of a gold digger man, don't turn a bullheaded eye to them.
Related Reading: 15 Pinnacle Signs Of A Selfish Young man
3. He is always interested in your finances
Rather than spending quality time with you, your boyfriend prefers to talk nigh your finances and investments. He volition also give you financial advice and ask yous to invest in funds you take never heard of. His interest has an ulterior motive which involves him profiting from the entire transaction.
Dwiti explains, "Another one of the signs a human is using you for money is his undying curiosity about your finances. He wants to know the smallest financial details about you: your business relationship residual, your property, your current expenditures. He won't just stop at that. He'd push you lot to work more and demand coin, asking you lot to manage all the expenses."
Your boyfriend should talk about you, your likes and your qualities. After all, he is in a relationship with a person, non a bank! If he does and then your boyfriend is in the relationship only for the coin. Unfortunately, this is ane of the signs a man is using you for money.
4. He loves shopping….as long as yous are paying
Your swain suggests taking y'all shopping. He adds three or iv items for you and the rest of the basket is filled with his things. At the cash counter, he suddenly gets an emergency telephone call or finds some other excuse to disappear. Heed y'all, all the things he has called are way besides expensive for someone like him, but he doesn't care equally long as you are paying.
He technically takes you shopping but you end upwardly swiping your credit card. The signs that someone is exploiting you financially aren't just limited to instances when a human asks y'all for money upfront. If he is practically living off yous and yous terminate up paying for the high life he cannot afford on his ain, you have the alert signs he is a gold digger staring yous in the face.
Endeavour in a relationship has to be common and reciprocal on all fronts – emotional, concrete or financial. When your partner is in information technology just for the money, you end upward doing the king of beasts'south share of work in keeping the relationship afloat.
v. He is unemployed or lies about his job
What do you lot know about the person you are dating? Have you ever checked his facts? Your gold-digger swain might have portrayed himself to be a successful person and you lot believed him without a dubiety. Have you always actually visited his role?
In your career, you accept setbacks but still go on working hard to get dorsum on track. How much effort is your boyfriend putting in to get back on his anxiety? Some unemployed boyfriends are like parasites and purposely do non do anything nearly their unemployment every bit long as they have girlfriends like you to pay. He could be in the relationship only for the coin. Do run a check on him.
"Whenever you ask nigh his finances, he'd either ignore you or endeavour to escape the conversation. "Why do you always desire to know about my coin?" "Tin can we talk about something else ?" are the common retorts of a man who is with you for the money. He is not transparent well-nigh his job and gives inconsistent answers virtually his finances," says Dwiti.
Related Reading: eleven Signs Your Husband Uses You Financially
vi. Your boyfriend sees you every bit his ATM
It is payday and he knows it. He asks for money to pay his utilities and other expenses. Whenever he needs coin, you write out a cheque for him or take out money from the ATM and he barely even mutters a thank you. He knows that whenever he wants money, you will exist there to bail him out.
He is using you as his ATM and his personal bank. Endeavour saying no and run into how he reacts. "My boyfriend is a gold digger and knows the twenty-four hours my salary comes in. He oft feels the need to go out on a fancy date, dinner or movie on the same day. If sometimes I decline, I can be certain to expect a balmy temper tantrum," says Norah, a lawyer who has been dating an "aspiring artist" for the past year.
7. Romance comes with a toll
He is in a very romantic mood. Things between you lot two suddenly heat up and he asks you for something when you are besides vulnerable to say no. The favors he asks for are always expressed in budgetary terms.
When he gets his way, all the romance suddenly turns cold. All his love and care will seem to vanish. Such people are only financial opportunists, looking for ways to extract coin. If this isn't ane of the signs a man is using you for coin, then we don't know what is.
If you can chronicle to these signs of an opportunist swain, take a moment to reflect on whether your relationship is worth saving and if it'due south wise for you to compromise your financial security for a connexion that is driven by materialistic things. In the heart of your hearts, you know the answer as well every bit we do.
8. He gets angry if yous say no
Some days your gut will make y'all question your decision. You will ask yourself, "Should I give him money?" and you will finally decide to say no to him. He will become angry and desperate because that was not the answer he was expecting. This is one of the signs your young man is using y'all for coin.
He has understood that his magic on you is wearing off and he is not happy with it. Sometimes your gold digger swain might simply make upward an emotional story to pull y'all back into his spell. Make sure that you don't fall into his trap this time.
Related Reading: How To Watch Out For The Human relationship Red Flags, Skillful Tells You
How to break up with a gilded digger
What to do when a guy is using you lot? How exactly do you become out of a relationship with a gold-digger fellow? The reply is simple, you lot rip the band-help off and break up with him. He volition endeavour to wrap you up with words and try to go dorsum on your good side or gain your sympathy. But y'all must remember to be stiff and not let his crocodile tears tangle you again.
Stick to your guns. You have seen the signs a man is using you for money and know for a fact that he's in this relationship for the coin. So information technology's time to cut him loose and look out for someone who deserves you.
"If yous realize your man is using yous for convenience, breaking upward is the only style out from such a toxic human relationship. Be honest with yourself and don't overlook the signs a human is using you for money. It's difficult to accept this harsh reality when you are emotionally invested in a person merely information technology's meliorate to face up the truth rather than live in denial or promise that one day he will alter.
"One time you see the signs someone is using you for money and accept made up your mind to motility on from the toxic connection, don't face him or chase the elusive closure. In a state of affairs similar this, it's fine not to know all the answers for the breakup (if he runs abroad or ghosts you) and simply have that yous were in the wrong relationship with the incorrect person.
"If you are the one who wants to end the relationship, it's ok not to face him or offer an caption for why yous're breaking upward. Sometimes, a contiguous confrontation tin testify extremely risky if he is into drugs or alcohol consumption. But move abroad physically, emotionally and financially," advises Dwiti on what to do when a guy is using you.
Many successful women autumn into the trap of these financial opportunists. These men take advantage of a woman's emotional vulnerability and find their fashion into their lives. In no time, they make their way into their finances equally well. These men are able to blind a woman with their scripted love and these women fall prey to such parasites. Be sure to look out for these signs while you are dating, so that you can save yourself from being emotionally and financially cheated.
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Source: https://www.bonobology.com/dating-gold-digger/
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